Fresh Beginings

On such a sad day when the world seems to come to a stop for some I like to think that it's a day of new beginnings. 

Today ten years ago I decided to keep a baby that I didn't think I was ready for.  Today my 9 1/2 year old stands besides me and reminds me of each life that was lost and how grateful I am am to them. We will always remember and cherish each and every family who lost a loved one. I hope one day he will grow up and help keep their memory alive. I can see the spark of hope in his eyes.  

At 8:46 my son and I held each other for a full minute, I had to wipe the tears but it led to a great discussion. We then sat down and talked about why 9/11 is so important, not just for a country but for him and I. We spoke of how almost 3,000 lives were lost that day but 2 were saved. We talked about why it's important for him to live his life with passion, hope and perseverance. One day that boy is going to make a difference in the world. He already has changed my world forever.

This year I reflected on how much the last 10 years have changed not just myself but those around me.  I think I can speak for all my loved ones that we are better people than we were 10 years ago.

So as I sit here sipping on my Chocolate/Banana Chike protein drink, I'm listening to the memorial at Ground Zero.  My heart goes out to all those who lost a loved one.  I also want to thank all those who have served/or are serving our country to keep our freedom.  

This year I've already taken the first steps to a new me.  I'm proud to be part of this country, a mother to my child and a DSer!  

The loss of a friend

I've been meaning to blog for the past few days.  I just haven't had it in me. 

As I sat down last night to blog to you about my one month Surgiversary I was greeted with terrible news. 
An online friend who you may have seen commenting on my blogs went for her DS surgery on 8/11.  She passed away two days later from complications. We don't know the final reasons just yet.  Quite a few people are pointing fingers at the surgeon.  Honestly I think that in such a tragic situation we all look to blame someone.  Until we have the test results and a reason why she passed away we need to curl our fingers back up.

Instead of dwelling on why, or how, I want to share with you who she was to me. 

Stephanie was a friend met through ObesityHelp.com.  She came to me with questions which quickly turned into a small online friendship.  We supported each others blogs and I shared with her all the tips I could as my progress went on.  Stephanie was always quick to help promote my blog and contests.  Without her I wouldn't have some of the traffic I do.  Through her trials and tribulations that she shared on her blog I was able to find strength and inspiration.  She wanted what all of us look for who are pursuing weight loss surgery, relief from obesity.  She was beautiful inside and out.  Stefanie is support by amazing family, friends, a sweet loving boyfriend and her cute lizard Osi.  She also leaves behind many online friends.  As an online community we will miss her soo much.  My only regret is that I never had the chance to meet her in person.  I keep checking online for new comments from her or a message telling me this was all a huge mistake and I have the wrong Stephanie.  I'm going to miss her sooo much.

Stephanie, We will miss you everyday.  You finally finished your journey, sleep with peace my friend.  This spot on the bench will always have your name on it.  *hugs*

For those that were not familiar with her, take the time to get to know an amazing person.  Her blog is HERE


I originally posted this comment on BlackBerry Mama's Blog and felt it was appropriate to add to this blog post:

"When preparing for my surgery death came up often, too much at one point. What made me feel comfortable is that my family understood. They knew exactly how I felt and agreed with me.
If I didn't die from trying to fix the problem, the problem was eventually going to kill me. I wanted to go down as a fighter. Had I of passed I wanted my son to know that his Mommy did EVERYTHING she could to be healthy. Everyone in my family agreed and understood, no matter how hard to reality of the situation was. 

Death is something that needs to be taken into careful consideration when deciding on surgery. It needs to be thought about when picking your surgery and surgeon. It needs to be thought about when preparing for your surgery and the life you live afterwards.

The friendship I had with Stephanie will always live within my blogs and online persona. As an online community her memory will be kept alive for all the other pre-ops who come after her.
I hurt for her family. I can't even imagine how they must feel. I've spoken to her boyfriend a few time and my heart breaks for him. The love they shared was immense."