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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

A year later

A year ago I was just 4 weeks away from my surgery.  I can't even begin to explain just how much my life has changed.  I'm going to try my best to share all the marvelous things I have experienced.

This post was supposed to wait until my actual Surgiversary but today I hit a HUGE milestone.  I am finally in Onderland.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with what that means, my weight is in the 100's.  When I woke up this morning I weighed in at 200.00 lbs.  After a long poo and stripping off all my clothes I weighed in at 198.9.  If I wasn't so sick from this head cold I would of screamed.  I am literally almost half the woman I was a year ago.

So besides the numbers on the scale what else has changed?

1.  For starters my clothes size.  I started out in a 28/30.  Today I fluctuate between a 10-14.  It's a funny thing actually,  This is the only group of sizes I have found to be so different.  When I was a size 20 I was a firm 20, same goes for every size from 16 and up.  A size 10-14 is a funny thing.  Some size 10s fit me awesome while others won't go over my thighs.  Some size 14s just fit and some fall right off.  I am officially in a size of clothes that I can't leach off my friends.  That feels weird.  I actually have to start buying clothes.  Thank goodness for Goodwill.

2.  My self confidence is through the roof.  I still have my insecure moments but at this point I see them as being normal.  I no longer hold my head down when I walk.  I know I am full of awesome and finally no one has to remind me of that.  I can thank my awesome online and real life support system for helping me realize just how much I rock!

3.  I have a job.  I stand on my feet for 9 hours a day and I freaking love it.  Most people would consider my job mediocre, but I love it.  I couldn't ask for a better work environment and I really feel good about what I do.  Plus it's like getting paid to work out.  You could ask for more?

4.  My friends.  The people I talked to prior to WLS aren't really around anymore.  Some have faded away for various reasons.  Some I had to release because I realized just how toxic they were for me.  I no longer have the patience for drama or negativity.  The people I now consider my friends compliment me in every way as I hopefully do them.  I value my friendships more than ever and maybe it's because I'm finally at a place in my life where I can see just how much we mean to each other.  Some of my closest friends I have never met face to face.  Its amazing how close you can be to people on the other side of the continent.  We fight the same battles and hold the same values.  My in person friends mean just as much to me.  My friends mean the world to me.  Thats not something I could of said a year ago.

5.  My family.  Family has taken on a whole new meaning for me.  The support they have shown me through the past year means so much.  They have never failed to lift me up whenever I've needed it.  My immediate family has shown me what it's really meant to be loved.  I couldn't wake up every day without knowing they have my back.  Through thick and thin they have shown me just how unconditional their love is.  We are closer than we've ever been.  I have no doubt that what our relationships lacked was hugely my fault.  I kept myself excluded from family activities and relationships.  My brothers wedding was a huge turning point for me when it came to how I interacted with those that mean so much to me.  It was the first time I saw just how much my energy had to do with how I enjoyed social family situations.

6.  My posture.  As silly as this might sound this is big for me.  I never realized how hunched over I was.  I stand straighter, sit straighter and my back thanks me for it.  It takes some getting used to but every day I make it a point to check how I"m sitting and standing.

7.  My energy level is amazing.  I never thought I would feel this active.  I can't sit still.  I go for walks in the morning and I'm almost ready to start jogging.  My ten year old thinks this is awesome.  He joins me for my morning walks most of the time and honestly it is the best quality time I could ask for.  We talk, we share and we enjoy the silent.

8.  Lastly the scale.  I can't wrap my head around what it says to me.  198lbs.... I know I still have plenty of weight to lose but honestly if I didn't lose another lb I would be happy right where I am.  To me 198lbs is heaven.

Sharing this past year on my blog has been quite the experience.  I still plan on posting although I can tell you now that sitting still long enough to type all of this out is hard.  If I'm not working the last place I want to be is tied down to my computer chair.  The best way I think to get updates at this point is my Facebook page.  I won't completely abandoned this blog though.  I still have a ton of reviews to post.  Hopefully the next thing I'll be posting is new pictures.  I look awesome and it's about time I share.
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