Happy Birthday To ME!

For my Birthday this year do you know what I got myself?  A few things actually:

• A Brand Spanking New 60 lb weight loss!  (As of this morning I'm 319lbs)
• An awesome family that loves me
• A Hurricane!  Beat that one! 

I'm here, I'm alive and I'm sorry if I haven't updated.  I've been super busy with school and my family.  I've also had a hard time thinking of this to write about that didn't involve Stephanie.  It's also been hard knowing she won't be able to comment or write me about something I've blogged.  I have heard from her friends and family though.  They really are wonderful people.  I'm so glad to have met them even if it was through such an unfortunate experience. 

I wanted to check in before Irene pounded us.  For those that don't know I live in NJ right across the bridge from Philadelphia.  Go ahead, I'll wait while you go check the link again....

Today I'm going to go register and insure my new Van and then I'm going to Camp Mom-Moms to pick it up, do a load of laundry, and sing Happy Birthday to me! Believe it or not the best part of my trip is not the van.  The best part of my trip is my step dads Pesole soup!  I've been craving this for weeks and I can't WAIT!

When I return to all my wonderful blogging friends I will have a new giveaway and a review!  I miss you all!

Friends in Low Places

The whole time I've been thinking about what I was going to write in this blog I have this stuck in my head

Listen while you read, it really will make the whole blog that much more enjoyable.
(deal with this version, apparently Garth Brooks doesn't like to share so I couldn't find his version on YouTube)

When I started the path to get my DS I figured I was doing something for myself.  I thought this was going to be a solo journey that I would need to find internal strength to complete.  Over the course of the last few months I've learned that I could never of been more wrong.  Yes I need internal strength to conquer my obesity, but when that's running low I have amazing family and friends to help hold me up. Some of the places I've found those friends are surprising and humbling. 

Take for example my friend Wendi.  We met online through ObesityHelp.com and then really connected on Facebook.  Our surgeries were at the same time so as we progress we are able to compare notes and share tips/secrets.  She has also been a huge source of inspiration for me, not to mention just a great friend all around.  She's the person who really inspired my blog today.  Just as I was feeling out of control and a little helpless to my vitamin regime Wendi messaged me and told me she couldn't use her vitamin organizer, and did I want it?!  I never mentioned to her the problems I was having, I was a little ashamed, so her timing was impeccable.   Not to mention the organizer she had was the same one I was so bummed out about not being able to afford.  Instead I've been using little baggies, which works but it can be a little daunting.  Now if only I can find a way for her to ship me some of those awesome zucchini flowers she's got in her yard!

This is my new pretty.  I will call her Emily.  She is my new friend.

When I opened the box this morning I sat and stared.  How in the world do we go through life without people like her?  People who unselfishly and without bounds love us as if we've always been a part of their life?  Friends who without the internet we never would of met? 

This past week has been full of those friends for me.  Losing one of my best blog buddies Stephaine, spurred an online grieving process with some of the best online friends I could of asked for, BlackBerry Mama and Heidi and others who belong to my Facebook OH group and my ObesityHelp.com online forum. It's comforting to know that when I may feel lost and alone with how my new life is turning I always have a group of people I can turn to.  Not only will they understand how I feel but they have no problem smacking me around a bit to get a point across that I may not of seen otherwise.  The best part?  OH holds conferences that will make seeing these amazing people possible.  In a week or two I'm going to start the "Send The Vanishing Mom to OH Conference" petition. 

This doesn't discount the amazing friends and family I have right here in real life.  My Mother, Father, Step-Dad, Wife, Son, Grandmother, and Best Friend are all not just supportive, but just as excited as I am.  I have met almost no hesitation with them.  If nothing else I've even been able to change some of the things they previously thought about WLS.  My Mother and Father tell me everyday how proud they are of me.  My son who is large for his age and has always had an appetite like a teenager (he's 9) is starting to be more aware of what he puts in his mouth.  We're watching him choose healthier options and move around more than ever before.  His reasoning?  He wants to eat healthy like his Mommy.  My wife has cut out all of the carbs in her life (yes even Pepsi) and has lost 20lbs so far.  My Step-Dad, who isn't the biggest supportive of WLS itself has even made the positive comment or two.  My Grandmother got me a WiiFit for my birthday next week because I'm so excited to use it to work out(this will be a whole blog post for itself probably tomorrow). 

Today I feel blessed.  On a day that is rainy, muggy and gloomy, after a week of sadness, I really needed a blog about the love we feel as we journey through life.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

Tell me, How has major life events changed how you view your family and friends?

The loss of a friend

I've been meaning to blog for the past few days.  I just haven't had it in me. 

As I sat down last night to blog to you about my one month Surgiversary I was greeted with terrible news. 
An online friend who you may have seen commenting on my blogs went for her DS surgery on 8/11.  She passed away two days later from complications. We don't know the final reasons just yet.  Quite a few people are pointing fingers at the surgeon.  Honestly I think that in such a tragic situation we all look to blame someone.  Until we have the test results and a reason why she passed away we need to curl our fingers back up.

Instead of dwelling on why, or how, I want to share with you who she was to me. 

Stephanie was a friend met through ObesityHelp.com.  She came to me with questions which quickly turned into a small online friendship.  We supported each others blogs and I shared with her all the tips I could as my progress went on.  Stephanie was always quick to help promote my blog and contests.  Without her I wouldn't have some of the traffic I do.  Through her trials and tribulations that she shared on her blog I was able to find strength and inspiration.  She wanted what all of us look for who are pursuing weight loss surgery, relief from obesity.  She was beautiful inside and out.  Stefanie is support by amazing family, friends, a sweet loving boyfriend and her cute lizard Osi.  She also leaves behind many online friends.  As an online community we will miss her soo much.  My only regret is that I never had the chance to meet her in person.  I keep checking online for new comments from her or a message telling me this was all a huge mistake and I have the wrong Stephanie.  I'm going to miss her sooo much.

Stephanie, We will miss you everyday.  You finally finished your journey, sleep with peace my friend.  This spot on the bench will always have your name on it.  *hugs*

For those that were not familiar with her, take the time to get to know an amazing person.  Her blog is HERE


I originally posted this comment on BlackBerry Mama's Blog and felt it was appropriate to add to this blog post:

"When preparing for my surgery death came up often, too much at one point. What made me feel comfortable is that my family understood. They knew exactly how I felt and agreed with me.
If I didn't die from trying to fix the problem, the problem was eventually going to kill me. I wanted to go down as a fighter. Had I of passed I wanted my son to know that his Mommy did EVERYTHING she could to be healthy. Everyone in my family agreed and understood, no matter how hard to reality of the situation was. 

Death is something that needs to be taken into careful consideration when deciding on surgery. It needs to be thought about when picking your surgery and surgeon. It needs to be thought about when preparing for your surgery and the life you live afterwards.

The friendship I had with Stephanie will always live within my blogs and online persona. As an online community her memory will be kept alive for all the other pre-ops who come after her.
I hurt for her family. I can't even imagine how they must feel. I've spoken to her boyfriend a few time and my heart breaks for him. The love they shared was immense."