WTF did I just do?!

See the title up there?  "WTF did I just do?"  That was what I repeated out loud as I sat on the pot this morning.
I looked down at my disfigured belly, still a little swollen and freaked the fark out.
I totally lost it. 
I cried.
I pooped (I told you things were gonna get ugly on this blog)
I cried some more.
I got up and wobbled my way to the computer where I promptly logged onto ObesityHelp.com and was once reassured that yup, I did it.  I went and had Weight Loss Surgery. 

This isn't a bad thing.  I reassure you that I am happy, if not thrilled, with my decision.  It's just a reality check more than anything.  You see I've talked about this for years.  This has been an ambition of mine long before I even had my son which if you were to ask me is when my life really started.  But at some point Post-Op you will be hit in the face with the permanent resolution of your decision.  This isn't like Atkins or Weight Watchers that may feel permanent because of your empty wallet but they are always reversible.  This my friend is non-refundable, end of the line, rest of my life permanent.  That's ok.  I can deal with it.  I can more than deal with it.  I feel awesome about my decision.  I just can't believe I really did it!

Today I'm going to sort out my vitamins.  I'm starting to feel what I think are effects from lack of vitamins.  Too early out you say?  Maybe, but because of the liquid diet I did pre-op I think that feeling the effects right now may be quite normal.  So tomorrow I want to really start getting used to my regimen.  I'm scared of the big pills so thank goodness Vitalady has mostly chewable or dissolve-able. Expect pictures of them all put together.  I'm weird like that and ohh so excited to be opening the bottles finally!